50+ Baptism Jokes and Puns For Pure Laugh

Baptism is an important event in many religious traditions, marking the beginning of a person’s spiritual journey and purification. It’s very important among Christians, in this a person is purified through water. The word baptism originates from the Greek word “Baptizo” which means to dip. Here are 50+ Baptism Jokes and Puns for you because some humorous things can be added to it.

Funny Baptism Jokes

The United States doesn’t use torture techniques such as water boarding. They prefer the term “tactical baptism”.

What do you call a Mexican baptism? Bean dip.

How do you clean up water spilled during a baptism? With papal towels.

Yo mama so fat, she had to get baptized in the Pacific Ocean.

There was a baby’s baptism in the neighbourhood. It turns out that he was only around 2% catholic after the ceremony. Someone replaced the holy water with milk.

How many independent Baptists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one – any more than that and it might seem like an ecumenical activity.

Did you hear about the priest who performed a baptism on an airplane? It was a blessing in da skies.

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay? You get a Christian Bale.

What do you call a baptism that takes place in a coffee shop? A decaffeinated immersion!

Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.

What is a reverse baptism? It’s when the child touches the priest.

Elling a girl to calm down: works about as well as trying to baptize a cat.

Doctor ask, “Do you exercise often?” No, but I was baptized as an infant.

Who baptizes a baby fish? Holy Mackerel

If baptists are baptized… does that mean protestants are protested?

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay? You get a Christian Bale

Yo momma’s so fat, she got baptized at Sea World.

Baptism Jokes One Liner

What do you call a Muslim getting baptized? A bath bomb

Yo mamma’s so fat that she had to get baptized at seaworld.

Why didn’t the spider baptize his 50 children? too many fonts is bad for web design

Yo Mama so fat… she had to get baptized at Sea World!

Yo mama’s so fat… She was baptized in the Pacific Ocean

I just got baptized in virtual reality! It was totally immersive.

I dropped my phone in the toilet and now you’re all baptized.

Yo momma’s so fat… she had to get baptized in Sea world.

Why didn’t Messi baptize his son? Cause he will be Christian-o

Did you hear the importance of washing sex toys? It’s so important priests made baptisms.

Why was the baby baptized in milk? Because it was pasteurized for greatness!

What did one baptismal font say to the other? “Is it just me, or is it getting a bit crowded in here?”

Why did the fish refuse to attend the baptism? It didn’t want to get caught in a religious net!

What do you call a baptism that takes place in a coffee shop? A decaffeinated immersion!

How did the water react after the baptism? It said, “I feel so holy now!”

What do you get when you cross a baptism with a basketball game? A dunking contest!

Why did the baby’s diaper attend the baptism? It wanted to be holy, sheet!

What did the priest say when he accidentally dropped the baby during baptism? “Heaven help us!”

Baptism Puns

How did the priest dry off after baptizing a baby? He used a holy towel!

Why did the baby refuse to be baptized? It thought the water was too deep-end-ent!

How did the preacher get through the cold baptismal water? He had faith in his insulated vestments!

What did the baby say after getting baptized? “I guess this is just how I wash my sins away!”

Why did the baby wear floaties during the baptism? It didn’t want to sink into sin!

What did the minister say to the baby during the baptism? “Just keep your chin up, little one!”

How do you know a dolphin has been baptized? It’s all smiles and flips!

Why did the baby bring a sponge to the baptism? It wanted to soak up the holy spirit!

What’s a priest’s favorite water sport? Baptisurfing!

How did the baby feel after the baptism? All washed up!

What do you call a humorous baptism? A comic conversion!

Why did the baby’s baptism turn into a food fight? The priest accidentally said, “Let us spray!”

Why did the baby bring a towel to the baptism? It wanted to make a holy dry humor joke!

What do you call a group of frogs getting baptized? The choirpond!

Why did the baby’s baptism take place in the ocean? It wanted to be fully immersed in spirituality!

How did the baby feel about the baptism ceremony? It thought it was a “shell-ebration”!

What did the priest say to the baby during the baptism? “I hope you’re ready for a tidal wave of blessings!”

Why did the baby receive a special gift after the baptism? It was a “seasational” occasion!

Why did the baby’s baptism turn into a dance party? Because it was ready to make a splash on the dance floor and show off its holy moves!

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