In the ever-expanding nightmare realms of Elden Ring Nightreign, one challenge stands as a maddening enigma wrapped in RNG chaos – the Oldest Gaol. 🕵️‍♂️ This elusive trophy requirement materializes less often than a lunar eclipse in a thunderstorm, leaving completionists grinding expeditions like hamsters on a cosmic wheel. Tracking it down feels like chasing whispers in a hurricane – you know it exists, but the game offers zero clues, turning every Evergaol into a potential Schrodinger's boss encounter where victory and despair coexist until opened. With spawn rates rarer than unicorn tears, even veterans might burn through 50+ runs before glimpsing its shadowy gates. But fear not, Tarnished! We're cracking open this ancient mystery like a piñata filled with legendary loot. 💥

🔮 The Gaol Guardians: Nightmare Boss Trio

Forget standard Evergaol pushovers – the Oldest Gaol unleashes one of three apocalyptic horrors:

• Deathrite Bird: A skeletal tempest shredding space with necrotic feathers

• Godskin Duo: Tag-team terrors moving with synchronized malice

• Ancient Dragon: A living earthquake with breath hotter than a supernova 🌋

⚔️ Pro tip: You only need to topple ONE of these calamities for the trophy! But beware – their attacks hit like freight trains made of spite. Fighting them is like arm-wrestling Cthulhu in a phone booth; spacing and patience are non-negotiable.

| Boss Difficulty Snapshot | |--------------------------|--------------------------| | Threat Level | ★★★★★ (Max) | | Recommended Level | 120+ | | Key Weakness | Patience & burst windows |

🔑 Stonesword Keys: Your Golden Tickets

Without Keys, Gaols stay locked tighter than a miser's vault. Snag them through:

1. Loot Lottery: Chests (low % drop)

2. Merchant Deals: Cost 5,000 Runes each 💸

3. Grand Burning Scene Relic: The holy grail! Slot this crimson gem for:

4. FREE Stonesword Key every expedition start

5. Turns grind into a VIP boss-rush pass 🎫

This relic’s like finding Excalibur in a cereal box – mundane origin, game-changing power. Farm it through:

• Revenant remembrance quests

• Augur raid completion rewards

💎 Trophy Rewards: Beyond Bragging Rights

Victory showers you with:

• 🏆 "The Oldest Gaol" Trophy (duh!)

• ✨ Two legendary upgrades (pick one):

• Instant 30,000 Runes (Level-up tsunami!)

• Random buff (HP/Stamina boosts, rune multipliers etc.)

• 💤 New Site of Grace (Heal/level safely!)

⚡ Controversial take: ALWAYS grab the 30K Runes! Why? That cash infusion is like rocket fuel for your build – the random buff’s usually a damp firecracker by comparison.

🧭 Farming Strategy: Warp-Speed Gaol Hunts

Optimize your grind:

1. Equip Grand Burning Scene Relic (non-negotiable!)

2. Launch expedition → Sprint to nearest Evergaol

3. Use Key → Check boss:

   - Target? FIGHT!

   - Not target? ABORT expedition (no penalty!)

4. Repeat until RNGesus smiles 😇

⏱️ Pro move: Focus on Limgrave Evergaols – they’re closest to spawn points! Each reset takes <90 seconds. Still, expect 20-50 attempts; treat it like a rogue-lite slot machine where jackpots pay in dragon corpses.

💬 Conclusion & CTA: Share the Struggle!

Conquering the Oldest Gaol transforms you from casualty to legend – a badge of honor worn by masochists and masters alike. Remember, this struggle is Elden Ring’s ultimate poker game: sometimes you push all-in against a godskin royal flush. When you finally crush that ancient dragon? The victory roar echoing through your room will startle neighbors and pets alike. 🐉🗡️

🔥 YOUR TURN, NIGHTFARERS! 🔥

Drop your Gaol war stories below! How many attempts broke you? What boss made you question life? Share screenshots of your trophy glory – let’s celebrate collective suffering-triumph! And if this guide spared you sanity, smash that like button like it’s Maris’ skull! ⚔️💬

P.S. Still relic-less? Squad up for Augur raids – teamwork makes the dream work (and drops that key relic!).